The Method to the Madness

I am a research nerd.

I love to know how and why everything works. This is why I have been put in charge of figuring out the method we are going to use to get pregnant.

I have meandered around the interwebz looking for queer sites that explicitly describe how couples have been able to conceive, and I have found nothing. All I have stumbled upon were sites that use a lot of annoying acronyms and talk about doing the “baby dance.” We are adults, (well, I guess I should assume we are if we are consiously trying to conceive) let’s  talk that way.

That gave me the *brilliant* idea to synthesize all of the knowledge I gained into one short and sweet blog post describing our method. So here goes nothing…

1. Know your body…

I assume that if you have found your way here, that trying to have a baby is something you are currently working on or are actively considering. With that being said, if you are not well versed on female anatomy, make sure you at least take a crash course. I know that I had a lot to learn (mostly because I tend to ignore my lady parts…that’s a whole other story) about anatomy & physiology, as well as the menstrual cycle. I always thought it was just a monthly annoyance, and never really gave it any other thought until we were trying to conceive.

2. Really know your body

• Chart your basal body temperature. Check out FertilityPlus.org for more information about temperature taking.
• Use an ovulation predictor kit. These will tell you when you are about to ovulate (within 12-48 hours) that way you know when to time the ovulation.
• Track your cervical mucus. You want your cervical mucus to be the consistency of egg whites.

3. Get ready!

When your temperature or your ovulation predictor kit (OPK) indicates that you will be ovulating, that is when you are going to start the process. Most sites I have come across suggest that you inseminate (or in their heterosexist worldview have intercourse) the day that you get a positive OPK as well as the next 3 to 4 days.

4. Get set!

Gather the tools & equipment you will need. If you have everything ready to go at the start, it will make things a whole heckuva lot easier.

• • Sperm AKA baby batter!
  • Oral dosage syringe (ask your pharmacist, they’re usually free)
  • Instead Softcup
  • Pre-seed Lubricant
  • Towel
  • A lot of love

4. GO!

1. 1. Wash your hands thorougly.
   2. Suck up the baby batter from the collection cup with the CLEAN oral dosage syringe. Set aside.
   3. Prepare your applicator with the Pre-seed (more on this product later. This is just the how-to, remember?)
   4. Have your honey bunny lay down in a comfortable position.
   5. Insert the applicator full of Pre-Seed into her vagina, push the plunger in, and discard the empty applicator.
   6. Open the softcup package and insert the baby batter into the softcup.
   7. Insert the softcup in the vagina, as far in as it will go. Make sure that it is inserted correctly. You can tell if it is by checking the placement. It should rest on the pubic bone.
   8. Voila! Insemination complete

5. Wait the most grueling 2 weeks of your lives until you can take a pregnancy test.

6. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Getting Started

I’d like to say that I’m not stressed or worried about conceiving this month. Yeah right, like that’s possible. The pos side of this is that lady friends of mine are popping up pg all around me so I’m hoping that it’s in the air. The downer side of this is that they’re all having het sexual relations, something that’s not happening for me and mine. Not into doods that way, ovulating or not.

So how are we doing it? We have a healthy donor and his sig nif is extremely supportive. For us it’s kind of like finding the One in your life, things just have to come together. When Queer Hubby and I met, it was magic. And so goes our journey for our donor, he was exactly our kind of man. Our donor is everything we hoped for, he’s a teacher, queer, in a long term commitment, a degree in engineering, loves kids, left-winger, tall lol, a sports coach, and just so happens to be one our dear friends.

Now we’re on this kooky trip to creating a family. We have names, a lot of love, and we’re ready to get in the parenting game. It’s a long time coming for me, I’ve sort of done this before with my ex. And although, it was a learning experience, it wasn’t with all this love or stability. It was harder, dramatic, and I think I was all by myself in baby hopes. Pathetic really, now looking back. But now, I feel loved and cared for like never before in my life with no nudging or pushing or manipulating (I never said I was always a emotionally healthy lol), and it’s time to add from love:)